In Resilient Loving - A practical compass for partners of people on the autism spectrum, we explore different themes such as our needs, values, self-limiting beliefs, strengths, and expectations.
Many other themes are helpful when it comes to a relationship with somebody on the autism spectrum, for instance:
LOVE:
Reflections on what needs to happen for me to feel loved? (not just in romantic relationships. It can be with pets, friends, etc.)
How do I express love?
How do I block the flow of love?
Do I ever withhold love?
PAIN:
How do I relate to pain?
Do I relate to all pain in the same way (physical, psychological, relational, etc.)?
FORGIVENESS:
How easy is it for me to forgive (myself and others)?
Do I need something to happen in order to forgive?
LIFE:
What is life for me?
Does it feel supportive or antagonistic?
If you are a member of the private forum, it would be great to explore these questions and to post more there.
CYCLES:
Do I notice any cycles in my relationship to my partner?
For instance, do I experience grief every now and then for the dreams that won't be realised in this relationship?
Or perhaps, do I experience insightful moments followed by periods of denial of the reality of autism?
CODEPENDENCY:
Do I think codependency is an element in my relationship?
How do I know?
If I do think there is codependency in my relationship, how does it manifest? What would I like to do about it? Am I willing to do it? If so, when?
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