Resilient Loving

Although each person is different and our partners may be quite able in many areas of their lives, every now and then we may need a reminder about the kinds of struggles our partners may face on a daily basis. The list below is long and by no means exhaustive. If at any point you feel overwhelmed and  need a fun break, search online for “neurotypical disorder” and/or “allism spectrum disorder” to get a glimpse of how some autistic people might view non-autistic people 😀. Autistic people in general tend to: Exhibit "challenging" behaviours because they are triggered by things that have just happened (like unexpectad changes/delays in their routine or disappointments, interrupting their favourite activity, a noisy or brightly-lit environment, lack of desired attention, whether their favourite person is present or not, lack of structure, threats to self-esteem, etc.) or as a consequence of a longer-term event (such as when they haven’t slept or eaten properly or the family is ...

Imagine that you are struggling to stay calm; to control your impulses and to stop doing something, if needed; to do something because it is necessary, even if you don’t want to; to recognize how you’re are feeling; or to match emotions to events. There may come a point when the inner pressure would be too intense and you would feel as if you would explode unless you found an outlet for what is going on inside you. Something like that can happen to your autistic partner and the result might be what we call a meltdown . A meltdown is not a tantrum. When a person is having a meltdown, they have no involvement in the social situation. They are not concerned for their own safety. They don’t care if others react to their behaviour during the meltdown or not.  Meltdowns appear to follow a cycle. They are not an act of manipulation; they are the only behaviour the person has to react to the situation at that particular moment. THE STAGES OF AN AUTISTIC MELTDOWN: 1)   ...